Now, I dont want to think about college or course anymore. I'll just let it all go. They will come to me if they're my destiny, right? From now on, I just want to focus on my hobbies : drawing and travelling.
That's all...
Thursday 28 February 2013
Wednesday 27 February 2013
My Silent Anger
When I was a child
I was too young to decide what's the best for me
I couldn't choose what I want
I just did what adults said, did what they think good for me, did what people ask me to do, and so on
So I wait...
Wait until I'm old enough to decide things by my own
Wait until I'm able to choose what things that I want to do and not
Then year by year passed
Here I am now
Being older enough for those things I've planned in my past
But still can't decide for myself
And still can't choose what I want
I can't be mad to God
I know that
But somehow I'm mad at this situation, I'm mad at my life
Isn't that seems like I against God's destiny?
If you're asking me that question, then I'll answer : whatever
When I'm three years old
My parent brought me to a playgroup to start my new school life
While for me playgroup is not that important
Why? Then try to campare it with going to college
Which one do you prefer?
You know the answer
Then when I grow up and turn to eighteen, I even can't see myself having such a dream to go to college
While almost all of my friends go there
Studying
Making friends
Making experiences
Lot of fun
While me... I'm working
You know what make me feel angry the most?
When one of my brother graduated from High School
My parent offered him to choose
Choose what to do for his future
A briliant future if only he had not done such a stupid decision
He can choose : go to college or take a course
You know those spent lots of money
But he JUST have to open his f*cking mouth and say what he want at that time
How hard is it???
OH MY GOD
Just by saying a couple of words and... VOILA
He can get things what I wanted the most
And my other brother
His father had decided to send him to Netherlands to be chef
All of the things which involve money will be his father's responsibility
All like air ticket, visa cost, living cost, bla bla bla
And his father offer him a job as a chef
A job that he really wants the most
He JUST have to say 'yes' and... VOILA
He can reach things that I dreamed the most
But my first brother choose to marry a young girl and have a daughter
And a few years later, they divorced
My other brother decided to marry my cousin and leave his dreams
JUST as easy as that they throw things I WANTED the most
Just as easy as that
They just have to say words...
OMG, I still can't believe this
Oh damn, I'm crying in my office
Sh*t
Just a few words and... voila
Their dreams will come true
But me...
Look at me now
I'm here
Suffering with all things that happened to me since I'm old enough
Suffering from about decade ago
I almost stop going to school when I'm still in my Primary School
I almost can't go to High School
And when I planned to go to college
After I graduated, I still can't go there
So I worked and decide to take college by the next year
But still it can't be reached
So I worked my Plan B : take a course
I've planned that since December last year
And it's almost final that I can learn something
Eventhough it's only from a course
But you know what?
It cancelled
Yeah, just as easy as that
What's the reason?
Simple
It's about money
I don't have enough money
Neither do my Mom
And I can't blame her for this
See?
While my brothers had HUGE CHANCE with F*CKING EASY WAY to chase their dreams, they ignored it
While me? I have to pull out my tears of blood to make my dreams come true
Or maybe I should kill myself to make it come true?
Oh damn, look at me
When I was a child :
I had money, but didn't understand about future life
Now when I'm old enough :
I totally understand about future life, but I don't even think about having enough money for my daily needs
Now you can know why I hate my brothers for some reasons
But all I mentioned above
I never spit it to any of them
Nor my Mom, nor even my family
I never shout it infornt of their face
I never think that telling them will be a good idea
I just keep it
Keep it deep inside my mind
Deep inside my heart
This is the way I show my silent anger...
I was too young to decide what's the best for me
I couldn't choose what I want
I just did what adults said, did what they think good for me, did what people ask me to do, and so on
So I wait...
Wait until I'm old enough to decide things by my own
Wait until I'm able to choose what things that I want to do and not
Then year by year passed
Here I am now
Being older enough for those things I've planned in my past
But still can't decide for myself
And still can't choose what I want
I can't be mad to God
I know that
But somehow I'm mad at this situation, I'm mad at my life
Isn't that seems like I against God's destiny?
If you're asking me that question, then I'll answer : whatever
When I'm three years old
My parent brought me to a playgroup to start my new school life
While for me playgroup is not that important
Why? Then try to campare it with going to college
Which one do you prefer?
You know the answer
Then when I grow up and turn to eighteen, I even can't see myself having such a dream to go to college
While almost all of my friends go there
Studying
Making friends
Making experiences
Lot of fun
While me... I'm working
You know what make me feel angry the most?
When one of my brother graduated from High School
My parent offered him to choose
Choose what to do for his future
A briliant future if only he had not done such a stupid decision
He can choose : go to college or take a course
You know those spent lots of money
But he JUST have to open his f*cking mouth and say what he want at that time
How hard is it???
OH MY GOD
Just by saying a couple of words and... VOILA
He can get things what I wanted the most
And my other brother
His father had decided to send him to Netherlands to be chef
All of the things which involve money will be his father's responsibility
All like air ticket, visa cost, living cost, bla bla bla
And his father offer him a job as a chef
A job that he really wants the most
He JUST have to say 'yes' and... VOILA
He can reach things that I dreamed the most
But my first brother choose to marry a young girl and have a daughter
And a few years later, they divorced
My other brother decided to marry my cousin and leave his dreams
JUST as easy as that they throw things I WANTED the most
Just as easy as that
They just have to say words...
OMG, I still can't believe this
Oh damn, I'm crying in my office
Sh*t
Just a few words and... voila
Their dreams will come true
But me...
Look at me now
I'm here
Suffering with all things that happened to me since I'm old enough
Suffering from about decade ago
I almost stop going to school when I'm still in my Primary School
I almost can't go to High School
And when I planned to go to college
After I graduated, I still can't go there
So I worked and decide to take college by the next year
But still it can't be reached
So I worked my Plan B : take a course
I've planned that since December last year
And it's almost final that I can learn something
Eventhough it's only from a course
But you know what?
It cancelled
Yeah, just as easy as that
What's the reason?
Simple
It's about money
I don't have enough money
Neither do my Mom
And I can't blame her for this
See?
While my brothers had HUGE CHANCE with F*CKING EASY WAY to chase their dreams, they ignored it
While me? I have to pull out my tears of blood to make my dreams come true
Or maybe I should kill myself to make it come true?
Oh damn, look at me
When I was a child :
I had money, but didn't understand about future life
Now when I'm old enough :
I totally understand about future life, but I don't even think about having enough money for my daily needs
Now you can know why I hate my brothers for some reasons
But all I mentioned above
I never spit it to any of them
Nor my Mom, nor even my family
I never shout it infornt of their face
I never think that telling them will be a good idea
I just keep it
Keep it deep inside my mind
Deep inside my heart
This is the way I show my silent anger...
Sunday 10 February 2013
Old and Latest Arts of Mine
This is my arts, arranged based on from the oldest until the latest arts I've made...
Enjoy the ride Landers! 
This is Amanda. A main character in one of my short stories. She's an Indonesian, lives in Jakarta with her two (twin) brothers and two (twin) little brothers. I've never show the story to anyone except to my besties and my cousin... Maybe oneday I'll publish it 
Because I'm one of Harry Potter's stories fans, so don't be mad if I made a Harry Potter's girl version. LOL.
I have no purpose on drawing this one. Just doodling hehe. But maybe I just want to try my new drawing sign (look at the right down corner). Look like a fox? Well actually it's a squirel... I have a bit history with that animal :3 I will reveal it one day... soon!
This is my fave latest arts. LOL. Play Harvestmoon game (Back to Nature), and you'll know who is Cliff...
(The insane conversation in my wild mind)
Me : Cliff! Stop it! Gimme back my glasses! (trying to take back my glasses)
Cliff : No way. Take it if you can, my dear~ (pulling my hand make me become closer to him
and... CHU. he kissed me 
)
)
Me : Cliiiiiff!!! (>///<) You're going to make me murdered by your fans! 
Oh dear, Oh God, Oh my, he called me MY DEAR! 
(ignore this)
(ignore this)Wednesday 6 February 2013
My Journey - Part 2
Places in The Ship While Cruising!
Ship Fact
Ship Name : Star Virgo Cruise
Gross Tonnage : 75,338 grt
Length : 268 m / 879 ft
Width : 32 m / 106 ft
Average Cruising Speed : 24 knots
Maximum cruising speed : 25.5 knots
Number of Stabilizers : 1 set
Bow & Stern Trusters : 3
Full Satellite Navigation System : 2
Number of Cabins : 935
Passenger Capacity (based on lower berths) : 1,870
So, are you interested to go cruising Choico?
Besides, there are also Super Star Libra, Aquarius, Gemini, and Pisces Cruise. They're in one company called as Star Cruises. They operated in Asia region. If you decided to go cruising one day, you may visit it website : Star Cruises . If you need a general explanation, you can ask me by YM : Choi SH . And for you Choico who lives in Indonesia, if you want to book a cabin, you can call my company (which I work for) by contacting us : D**D*** . Hope this post can help you make a new experience Choico (holiday above the sea! Yeah!)! Wait for me on the next post! 
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